What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
12.06.2025 04:17
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Bruins Hire Former Forward Marco Sturm As New Head Coach - NESN
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
What are mean nicknames to call my sister? She is always so mean to me.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Why are white women so hard to date?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She loved him until the end.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
What is some information about unprotected sex and pregnancy?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was seconnd youngest,
I write beautiful poetry .
I'm British and I hate my glasses. Are prescription glasses better in New York City?
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Put me off passion for life!!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Delta Air Lines Warns Tariffs Could Halt New Airbus Orders & Eliminate Flights - Simple Flying
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
The S&P 500 closes at 6,000 as bulls aim for return to record territory - MarketWatch
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Comes on , in middle age.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?
Was to survive, this bastard.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
NASA’s Webb Telescope Captures a Stunning New View of the Sombrero Galaxy - The Daily Galaxy
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
How can I fall asleep fast at night?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Do straight guys like to have sex with men when they smoke meth?
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Would this be the day?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I waited trembling.
I said to her
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But, we were locked up after school.
My family never makes their pension either.
He knew the spot.
I will be 64.
I have no regrets .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
It was going to be , some day.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She wouldn,t have been !
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
When she asked me how she looked .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I was very sick at this time too.
I was 9 years of age.
Im still living with it.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I think the readers, may guess!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
We all went to grammer schools
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
(And it was in our own minds.)
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We were not on the streets..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Who then, do I blame.?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But ive been too sick for many years..
He resisted the act ,that day.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
She was in good health!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
So whats the point in blame.
What did i know ?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But it wasn’t much.
As i do to all so called friends.?
And i lived it daily.
This is soul school!.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She married twice! .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
So, i spoilt her more .
I don,t even have a pension.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
My life is so biszare .
All the time i was locked up.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Ive learnt so much.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I was scared of men, in general
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
One cannot live in the past .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She found it foreign!.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.